Wilkins And Wontkins Wiki

These are the the scripts for the Community Coffee commercials, But remember some of these scripts are from the Wilkins and Wontkins videos of BlueFrog, Drevian Edwards Productions, Ivan Simonov, Julian Perkins 2005, Nikki Arsenis 2, & more.

Brand X[]

  • Wilkins: How about a cup of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Nah, Let me have Brand X.
  • Wilkins: Okay!

(Wilkins presses Wontkins with branding X iron)

  • Wontkins: OOOOH, THAT SMARTS!


  • Wontkins: I forgot my parachute.
  • Wilkins: How about the Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: I forgot that too.

(Wilkins flips the biplane upside down causing Wontkins to fall off the plane)

  • Wilkins: You'll never forget this!


  • Wilkins: Want some Community Coffee with your pie?
  • Wontkins: Nah, Just gimme the pie.

(A hand splats the pie at Wontkins’ face)

  • Wilkins: Sure you wouldn’t like some Community Coffee to wash it down?

First Coffee On The Moon[]

  • Wilkins: Community Coffee’s gonna be the first coffee on the moon.

(The rocket attempts to blast off but blows up)

  • Wontkins: Now what?
  • Wilkins: Well, Community’s still the best coffee on earth.


  • Wilkins: Have a cup of Community Coffee sir?
  • Wontkins: If that’s all you serve, I’ll get off at the next town.

(Wilkins throws Wontkins off the plane)

  • Wilkins: Next town’s five miles, straight down!

I Get A Bang Out Of Community[]

  • Wontkins: What do you see in that Community Coffee?
  • Wilkins: Well, look for yourself.

(An explosion comes out of the Community Coffee)

  • Wilkins: I get a bang out of Community Coffee.

Convincing Machine[]

  • Wontkins: What’s that?
  • Wilkins: This machine convinces people that Community Coffee is great.
  • Wontkins: Impossible.

(The mallet machine turns on repeatedly hitting Wontkins)

  • Wontkins: Ooh (x3), I'm convinced!

Bank Robber[]

  • Wontkins: This is a stickup! Gimme the money!
  • Wilkins: Sorry, I’m on my Community Coffee break.
  • Wontkins: C’mon, Lemme have it!

(The machine gun shoots Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: I hate interruptions.


  • Wontkins: Got anything for people who don’t drink Community Coffee?
  • Wilkins: Certainly here you are friend. (Whacks Wontkins on the head with a small mallet) And it won’t cost you a cent.


  • Wilkins: Let’s take a Community Coffee break.
  • Wontkins: Naw.
  • Wilkins: Then hold this while I have a cup.

(The grenade explodes on Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: Some people just go to pieces without Community Coffee.


  • Wontkins: Gimme a cup of coffee.
  • Wilkins: Community?
  • Wontkins: No, Any old coffee.
  • Wilkins: Step right this way.

(Wilkins shuts a snowy door on Wontkins outside)

TV Set[]

  • Wilkins: Buy Community Coffee or else.
  • Wontkins: Or else what?

(Wilkins destroys the television set)

  • Wontkins: Buy Community Coffee. It’s cheaper than a television set.


  • Wilkins: I really love my Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: You 'oughta see a psychiatrist.
  • Wilkins: I did, that’s who told me about Community Coffee. I used to love my raincoat.

Death Defying Leap[]

  • Wilkins: Want some Community Coffee before you jump?
  • Wontkins: No.

(Wilkins moves the bucket)

  • Wilkins: You miss a lot when you don’t drink Community Coffee.

(Wontkins bounces on the floor)

The picture shines before it cuts to black.


  • Wilkins: Think the indians will attack us?
  • Wontkins: Naw. All we got is a shipment of Community Coffee.

(The stagecoach moves while arrows fly)

  • Wilkins: Someday, you’ll learn that everybody drinks Community Coffee!

Exploding Cigar[]

  • Wilkins: How’s that cigar i gave you?
  • Wontkins: I like it better than that Community Coffee.

(A cigar explodes in Wontkins’ mouth)

  • Wilkins: Stronger too isn’t it.


  • Wilkins: OK Buddy What do you think of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: I never tasted it!

(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: Now what do you think of Community?

Everybody Likes Community[]

  • Wilkins: Everybody likes Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Not everybody.

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a sign)

  • Wilkins: Now everybody likes Community Coffee.

Rocket Ship[]

  • Wilkins: Stand by for blast off.
  • Wontkins: What kind of fuel is that rocket use?
  • Wilkins: Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: That’s no good!
  • Wilkins: Blast off!

(Wontkins blasts off like a rocket)

  • Wilkins: You get a real blast out of Community Coffee and here’s a great place to buy some.

Blow Up[]

  • Wilkins: Ya Know people who don’t drink Community Coffee just blow up sometimes.
  • Wontkins: Aw, That’s a lot a.

(Wilkins blows up Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: See what I mean?

Climbing Tree[]

  • Wontkins: Why are we climbing this tree?
  • Wilkins: for Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: I don’t want any.

(Wilkins kicks Wontkins off the tree)

  • Wilkins: It’s autumn & the nuts are beginning to fall.

House Is Not A Home[]

  • Wilkins: You have any Community Coffee in your house?
  • Wontkins: No!

(Wilkins drops a bomb on Wontkins’ house and leaves)

  • Wilkins: Ya Know a house is not a home without Community Coffee.

(Wontkins’ house blows up)

Electric Chair[]

  • Wilkins: Any last request like for a cup of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No!
  • Wilkins: You don’t drink Community?
  • Wontkins: No!
  • Wilkins: How Shocking. (Flicks The Switch)

Good, Better, Best[]

  • Wontkins: Community makes good coffee (He is hitted) Better coffee (He is hitted again) Community makes the best coffee.
  • Wilkins: Congratulations.

Whale Of A Coffee[]

  • Wilkins: Let’s go up to the service for a cup of Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: I never touch the stuff!

(A Whale appears & eats Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: You should it’s a whale of a coffee.

Old Man Community[]

  • Wontkins: When is old man Community gonna pay us for all his foolishness?
  • Wilkins: When we sell more Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Buy Community Will Ya?

Howdy Stranger[]

  • Wilkins: Howdy stranger I hear you don’t drink Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Yeah, so what?

(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: Now there’re any other strangers in town?

Million Bucks[]

  • Wilkins: Boy, I’d give a million bucks for a cup of Community Coffee.


  • Wontkins: OK Buster, Pay Up.


  • Wontkins: HELP! HELP! My parachute won’t open! (As he plummets down)
  • Wilkins: Try some Community Coffee! It’ll give him a lift.

William Tell[]

  • Wontkins: OK William Tell, This better be good,
  • Wilkins: Do you drink Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No!

(Wilkins shoots the arrow at Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: We can still use the apple again.

Ginger Ale[]

  • Wilkins: You want a package of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Nah, Gimme a bottle of ginger ale.
  • Wilkins: Okay. (Smashes a bottle of ginger ale on Wontkins) But he would’ve liked the Community.


  • Wontkins: Well, What was it? A ball or a strike?
  • Wilkins: Do you drink Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Naw.
  • Wilkins: Stee-rike three. You’re Out!

Hot Air Balloon[]

  • Wilkins: How about a cup of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Nah, Just gimme down on the ground.
  • Wilkins: Okay.

(Wilkins opens a bottom door making Wontkins fall)

  • Wilkins: Some people just never learn.

Why Not[]

  • Wilkins: If you like really good coffee, Why not spend the extra money you got, & Get 2 packages of Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Why Not?

Communist Store[]

  • Wilkins: Gimme some Party Line Coffee
  • Wontkins: How about some Community comrade?
  • Wilkins: (Gasp) That’s capitalist coffee you traitor! Send 2 pounds to the back door.

Water With Dinner[]

  • Wilkins: Want some Community Coffee with your dinner?
  • Wontkins: Nah, Just gimme some water.

(Wilkins squirts Wontkins with water)

  • Wilkins: A person like that needs brainwashing.

Ton Of Community[]

  • Wontkins: You must buy this Community Coffee by the time.

(the Community Coffee crashes onto the floor)

  • Wontkins: What was that?
  • Wilkins: Another ton of Community just arrived.

What Kind Of Coffee Do You Sell[]

  • Wontkins: What kind of coffee do you sell?
  • Wilkins: Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Don’t you have any kind?
  • Wilkins: Sure we have it but we don’t sell it.

Camera Gun[]

  • Wilkins: With this camera I shoot pictures of people who don’t drink Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: I’m ready, shoot.

(The camera gun shoots Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: Anybody else?


  • Wilkins: Look out! here comes my trainload of Community Coffee!
  • Wontkins: Why would you want a whole trainload of?!

(A train appears & stops)

  • Wilkins: I like Community.


  • Wilkins: Have some Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Wella, (He is hitted) ISaya, (He is hitted Again) I’ll take some.
  • Wilkins: Surprising how many people are switching to Community Coffee.

Taking The 5th[]

  • Wontkins; That’s your fourth cup of Community Coffee haven’t you had enough?
  • Wilkins: I refuse to answer.
  • Wontkins: Why?
  • Wilkins: I’m taking the fifth.

Bad Commercial[]

  • Wilkins: Community Coffee is good coffee.
  • Wontkins: Boy, what a bad commercial.

(Wilkins shuts the packet on Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: The commercial may be bad but the coffee’s wonderful.


  • Wontkins: Hey Taxi! Where can I get a cup of coffee?
  • Wilkins: Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No, Just any old kind.

(Wilkins’ taxi leaves)

  • Wontkins: Hey Taxi Taxi!


  • Wilkins: Why are you speeding?
  • Wontkins: I wanted a cup of coffee.
  • Wilkins: Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No, Just coffee.

(Jailbars slam shut)

  • Wontkins: Next Time I’ll say Community.

Tunnel Of Love[]

  • Wilkins: After this would you buy me a cup of Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No!

(Wontkins falls into the water)

  • Wilkins: I only go for a man who drinks Community.


  • Wontkins: Old Man John just hired me to sell his crummy Community Coffee.

(Wontkins Gets set on Fire)

  • Wilkins: I think he just fired you too.


  • Wilkins: Do you drink Community Coffee?
  • Wontkins: No!

(A monster appears and swallows Wontkins)

  • Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don’t drink Community.

Sinking Man’s Coffee[]

  • Wontkins: I’m Sinking! I’m Sinking! Save Me!
  • Wilkins: Have some Community Coffee.
  • Wontkins: Why?
  • Wilkins: It’s a sinking man’s coffee.

(Wilkins looks down as Wontkins drowns to the bottom)