Wilkins And Wontkins Wiki

From 1962 To 1963, 32 commercials for the beverage company Kern's were made featuring Wilkins and Wontkins (They were named "Kerns" and "Korns" in the commercials) The commercials were aired in the state of California.

They aired from October 17, 1962 to February 21, 1963.


Kerns: Okay buddy, what do you think of Kern's Nectar?

Korns: I never tasted it!

(Korns gets shot by a cannon)

(Kerns turns the cannon towards the viewer)

Kerns: Now what do YOU think of Kerns?


Kerns: Why were you speeding?

Korns: I was going for a cold soda.

Kerns: Kern's?

Korns: No, just any old kind!

(A rattle of keys as a prison door slams on Korns' face)

Korns: Next time, I'll say Kerns.


Kerns: Want some Kern's Mango Nectar with your pie?

Korns: No, just gimme the pie!

(hand splats the pie at Korns)

Kerns: Want some Kern's to wash it down?

A Close Shave[]

Korns: Give me a close shave.

Kerns: Do you drink Kern's Guava Nectar?

Korns: Never!

Kerns: My friend, this is gonna be the closest shave you ever had!

(Kerns holds the knife at Korns' throat as Korns shakes in fear)

Five Aces[]

Korns: I got five aces, could you beat that?

Kerns: I got a bottle of Kern's Peach Nectar

(Kerns Shoots Korns with a gun)

Kerns: Nothing beats Kern's!

Put His Foot Down[]

Kerns: My friend here is gonna tell you how much he loves Kern's Nectar!

Korns: What will Mister Kerns do if I refuse?

(A foot steps on Korns, Crushing him instantly)

Kerns: Oh, he'll probably put his foot down


Korns: I forgot my parachute!

Kerns: How 'bout the Kern's Mango Nectar?

Korns: I forgot that too!

(Kern's turns the Biplane upside down, Korns falls to the ground)

Kerns: You'll never forget THIS!


(Korns is drowning)

Korns: Help Help! I can't swim!

Kerns: Try some Kern's Apricot Nectar! it'll help you swim!


Kerns: Do you drink Kern's Nectar?

Korns: No!

(Korns is sucked into the eye of the hurricane)

Kerns: Things just seem to happen to people who don't drink Kern's!

Construction Worker[]

Korns: Alright, boys, time for a soda break

Kerns: Kern's Mango Nectar?

Korns: No, any other soda!

(Kerns hits Korns with a 2x4 and falls)

Kerns: You think he'd know better than to say that!

Diving Board[]

Kerns: Want some Kern's Nectar before you jump?

Korns: No!

(Kerns drinks all the water up. when Korns falls into the pool, he's left with a bad concussion)

Korns: Agh!

Kerns: People who don't drink Kern's just end up with a concussion

Fly Swatter[]

Kerns: Do you like Kern's Nectar?

Korns: Well, I-

(Kerns Slaps Korns with a fly swatter)

Korns: Ow!

Kerns: You gotta think Positive


Kerns: You're only a good defender if you drink Kern's Nectar

Korns: Um, I don't drink that stuff.

(Kerns kicks the ball into the other teams goal, his team wins)

Kerns: He wasn't gonna win either way


Kerns: Kern's Nectar makes you smarter!

Korns: Aw that's a lot of-Hi blob of cookie dough!

Kerns: It's almost like he skipped School or something.


Kerns: Do you drink Kern's Nectar with your lunch?

Korns: No!

Kerns: You should!

(Kerns moves the firecracker over to Korn's. It then explodes! Korns is left with burns and bruises)

Kerns: You'll get a bang out of it!

Won't Cost A Cent[]

Korns: Have anything for people who don't drink Kern's Nectar?

Kerns: Certainly, here you are friend!

(Kerns hits Korns with a mallet)

Kerns: And it won't cost you a cent!


Kerns: Have you started drinking Kern's Guava Nectar yet?!

Korns: No!

(Kerns whacks Korns with the golf club, he flies and lands into a huge hole. He is then munched to death by tigers)

Kerns: Should've warned him about the tigers!

Clean Up[]

Korns: Could you help me clean this up?

Kerns: Sure, only if you pour me a cup of Kern's Nectar!

Korns: *sigh*

Burn Out Of Kerns[]

Kerns: You get a burn out of Kern's!

(Korns is running around while on fire, screaming his head off)

Kerns: See?

Cheep Cheep[]

Kerns: I have Kern's Nectar and another type of soda.

Korns: I want the cheap stuff!

(Two birds come out of the "Cheap Soda" can)


Kerns: Sorry but that other sodas for the birds!


Kerns: Let's go up to the surface for a can of Kern's Nectar.

Korns: I've never touched the stuff

(A whale comes into the frame and swallows Korns whole)

Kerns: You should, it's a whale of a soda!


Kerns: I'm gonna drink this soda and it's not Kerns!

(Kerns runs over Korns with a steamroller)

Kerns: Doesn't that soda taste kinda flat?!

Man Overboard[]

Kerns: How 'bout some Kern's Nectar captain?

Korns: No!

(Kerns throws Korns overboard)

Kerns: I say, man overboard. Help.


Kerns: Howdy stranger, I hear you don’t drink Kern's Guava Nectar.

Korns: Yeah, so what?

(Kerns shoots Korns)

Kerns: Now is there any other strangers in town?

1-2-Buckle My Shoe[]

Korns: Okay, let's try this one last time! Ready? go!

Kerns: 1-2-Drink Kern's Nectar.

Korns: *Sigh*


Kerns: Have a can of Kern's Nectar sir?

Korns: if that's all you serve I'll get off at the next town.

(Kerns throws Korns out of the airplane and makes me scream)

Kerns: Next town's 5 miles straight down!