Wilkins And Wontkins Wiki

Broken Knee:

Kermit: Help!

Mack: I can help you with McGarry's Sausages to make your broken knee feel better.

Kermit: Yeah so what?

(Cut to Mack holding Kermit with a bandage on his knee.)

Mack: There’s one way to cure him.

Wilkins and Wontkins 2 Television Commercials


Wilkins: Wilkins Coffee is like music to my Ears.

Wontkins: What are the cymbals for?

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the cymbals.)

Wilkins: This a very symbolic commercial.

Bank Robber:

Wontkins: This is a stick up, give me the money!

Wilkins: Sorry, I'm on my diet because there's no calories in Calso Water.

Wontkins: Come on, let me have it.

(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)

Wilkins: I hate interruptions.


Wilkins: Have some Martinson Coffee, sir?

Wontkins: If that is all what you serve I’II get off at the next town.

(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the airplane)

Wilkins: Next town five miles straight down.

Hot Shower:

Mack: I like a hot shower with Claussen’s Bread!

Kermit: What?

(Mack punches Kermit with a hammer.)

Mack: It’s all about the Claussen’s Bread taste!

Hurricane Harbor:

Wilkins: Want some Wilkins Coffee during this harbor?

Wontkins: No!

(A hurricane comes and sweeps Wontkins away)

Wilkins: You get off the track when you don't drink Wilkins.

Stagecoach (Folgers version):

Wilkins: Think the Indians will attack us?

Wontkins: Nah, All you got's a shipment of Folgers Coffee.

(The coach is now moving)

Wilkins: Someday He’ll learn that everybody drinks Folgers Coffee!

Convincing Machine (SOHIO version):

Wontkins: What’s That?

Wilkins: This machine that convinces people that Sohio Gas Station is great.

Wontkins: Impossible.

(Wilkins pulls the lever and turns on the machine and the hammers start to hit Wontkins)

Wontkins: Ooh, I’m convinced!

Monster (Friendly’s Ice Cream Cake version):

Wilkins: Do you like Friendly’s Ice Cream Cake?

Wontkins: No!

(A monster comes and swallows Wontkins whole.)

Wilkins: Things seam to happen to people who don't like Friendly’s.

Cheep Cheep (Taystee version):

Wilkins: I have Taystee bread, and another kind Of Bread.

Wontkins: I want the cheap stuff!

(2 birds are seen inside the bread shaped door--in the cheap bread box.)

Birds: Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!

Wilkins: Sorry! But The other bread is for the birds.

Brand X (Folgers version):

Wilkins: How about a cup of Folgers Coffee?

Wontkins: No, Let me have Brand X!

Wilkins: OK.

(Wilkins marks Wontkins with a branding iron he's wielding.)



Wilkins: We're here to persuade people to like more Taystee Bread.

Wontkins: What 's the club for?

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the club he's holding.)

Wilkins: To get their attention.


(buzzes the doorbell)

Wontkins: Why are you ringing my doorbell?

Wilkins: For a Wilkins Coffee delivery!

Wontkins: I hate coffee!


Wontkins: Well, What was it, a ball or a strike?

Wilkins: Do you drink La Touraine Coffee?

Wontkins: No!

Wilkins: Stee-rike three, You're out!


Wilkins: We're here to learn more about Community Coffee.

Wontkins: Why is there a lion?

(The lion comes to eats Wontkins)

Wilkins: You never learn.

Cash Register:

Wilkins: Lunch with Nash's Coffee: 75 cents.

Wontkins: I didn't drink the Nash's.

Wilkins: That's one dollar even. It pays to drink Nash's.

Quiz Show:

Wontkins: You win a new car, or a case of New Instant Folgers Coffee?

Wilkins: I'll take the New Instant Folgers Coffee!

Wontkins: We I'll never get rid of that car.

Water with Dinner:

Wilkins: Want some Taystee Bread with your dinner?

Wontkins: Nah, let me the water.

(Wilkins brings a water pump and washes Wontkins.)

Wilkins: People like that need brainwashing.

Soda Fountain:

Wontkins: What kind restaurant, is this?

Wilkins: This is a Soda Fountain!

Wontkins: Nah so what?

Wilkins: For Wilkins Instant Coffee!

(Wilkins push the soda fountain washes in Wontkins)

Wilkins: Thatcher your time Wilkins go way?


Wilkins: "I christen thee."

(Wilkins breaks the bottle and the ship is sinking)

Wontkins: "That cup of Coffee, is it Community?"

Wilkins: (nods) "Yes."

Wontkins: "Thanks..."


Wilkins: Did you bring your parachute?

Wontkins: I forgot that!

Wilkins: How about the Nash's Coffee?

Wontkins: I forgot that too!

(Wilkins Turns The Biplane Upside Down And Wontkins Falls)

Wilkins: He’ll never forget this!


Wontkins: What do you guys get like you with a Cup of Folger's Coffee?  

Wilkins: I'm on the wagon pops!

(The Wagon Is Now Moving)

Wontkins: Fresh kid.

Shall We Try Again:

Wilkins: Do you like to drink?

Wontkins: Yes.

Wilkins: do you like drinking coffee?

Wontkins: Yes,

Wilkins: do you like drink Nash's Coffee?

Wontkins: No!

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with club he's holding)

Wilkins: Shall we try that again,

Howdy Stranger:

Wilkins: Howdy Stranger I see you don't like Taystee Bread.

Wontkins: "Yeah so what?"

(Wilkins Shoots The Gun)

Wilkins: Now Is There Any Other Strangers In Town?

Tarred And Feathered:

Wilkins: anyone who dont drink folgers will be tarred and feathered right?

Wontkins: WRONG!

Wilkins: He always was a Fast Fork.


Wontkins: What are you doing?

Wilkins: I'm kneading Martinson Coffee,

Wontkins: Haaaaa! Who Keands It?

(Keanding are throw on Wontkins face)

Wilkins: Haaa! everybody drinks Martinson Coffee.


Wilkins: Next Question. What do you think of National City Bank?

Wontkins: It's wonderful, Great coin!

Wilkins: You see friends--

Wontkins: Now pay me for ten bucks!


Mack: Want some Claussen's Bread during your break after saving?

Kermit: No thank you.

(Kermit drowns)

Mack: Things seem to happen to people who don’t eat Claussen's Bread.

Storm Cooking:

Wilkins: Lets Do Some Cooking Community Coffee When The Thunder Storm Ahead!

Wontkins: I'll Take The Electrical Bar Lights From Stealing Foods!

(Wilkins Twist The Handel,Thunder Hits At Wontkins,And Wontkins Fell Off The Roof)

Thunder Lighting:KABOOM!!!!!!

Wilkins: He Now Always Have Some Electric Strikes!

Death Defying Leap:

Wilkins: Want Some Folger's Coffee Before You Jump?

Wontkins: No!!!

(Wontkins Jump Off Long Falling)

Wilkins You Miss A lot When You Don't Drink Folger's Coffee

(Wontkins Fell Of The Ground)


Mack: Hey Got Any Claussen's Bread On Board?

Kermit: No!!!!

Kermit: 3,2,1

(Mack Go'es Up Likes A Rocket)

Kermit: Claussen's Bread Really Is Out Of This World!

Ship Overboard:

Wilkins: "Did You Have Any Maxwell House Coffee In That Ship?"

Wontkins: "No!"

Wilkins: "I christen Thee."

(Wilkins breaks the bottle and the ship is sinking)

Wontkins: "What Happen To My Ship!!!"

Wilkins: "You Should Drink Maxwell House Coffee!"

Wontkins: "No!!!"


Mack: Got You're Parachute?

Kermit: I Forgot It!

Mack: How About The Claussen's Bread!

Kermit: I Forgot That Too!!

(Mack Turns The Biplane Upside Down And Kermit Falls)

Mack: He Will Never Forget This!

Rocket: (Folger's version):

Wilkins: Stand by for blast off!

Wontkins: What Kind Of Fuel Does That Rocket use?

Wilkins: Folger's Coffee!

Wontkins: That's no good!

Wilkins: "BLAST OFF!!!"

(Wontkins Goes Up Like A Rocket.)

Wilkins: you get a real blast of Folger's Coffee- and here's a great place to buy some.

Brand X (Calso version):

Wilkins: how about a diet with no calories in Calso Water.

Wontkins: no I'll take Brand X!

(Wilkins Marks Wontkins With A Branding Iron He's Wielding.)


Rocket Ship (Franks Orange Nectar version):

Wilkins: Franks will be the 1st Orange Nectar on the moon!

(Wilkins and Wontkins see the rocket explode with large pieces)

Wontkins: now what!

Wilkins: will Franks is still the best orange nectar on earth.