Wilkins: Look I have a pet parrot!
Wontkins: Does he drink Red Diamond Coffee!
Parrot: Squak Polly want a Red Diamond Coffee!
Wontkins: Hey taxi! What can I get a cup of instant coffee?
Wilkins: Jomar Instant?
Wontkins: No, Just any old kind!
(The taxi leaves)
Wontkins: Hey taxi! (x2)
Wilkins: You getting on the Community Coffee bandwagon?
(A bandwagon full of cheering people enters the frame and runs over Wontkins)
Wilkins: You either go with Community or you just don't go.
Wilkins: Did you check the jackpot winners list for Sohio?
Wontkins: Did I?!
Wilkins: I went to the Sohio store and checked the jackpot winners list for Sohio.
Wontkins: Gimme a close shave.
Wilkins: Do you drink Community Coffee?
(Wilkins brandishes a huge razor.)
Wilkins: My friend, this is gonna be the closest shave you ever had.
Wilkins: Did you bring a loaf of Dugan's Bread?
(Wilkins hands down the window and Wontkins downfalls and Wilkins hands up the window)
Wilkins: How about to drop down to the grocery store for some!
Wilkins: Do you drink La Touraine Coffee?
Wontkins: No I don't. why?
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the stamp, leaving a check mark on him)
Wilkins: Just checking...
(Wilkins dresses as a Waitress and Wontkins sit on the plane)
Wilkins: Want a delicious cup of Green Diamond Coffee Sir!
Wontkins: No thank, I have soda.
Wilkins: I told him he don’t drink Green Diamond Coffee on the plane!
When Pigs Fly:
(Wilkins and Wontkins dress as pigs on a plane flight)
Wilkins: When Pigs Fly, Won’t they try Deer Park Water on the plane?
Wilkins: Here you go, A bottle of Deer Park Water!
Mallet:Wontkins: Have anything to people who don't drink Kraml Milk? Wilkins: Sure, Here you are friend.
(Wilkins whacks Wontkins with mallet)
Wilkins: And it won't cost you a cent!
Wilkins: No Housekeeping! You should cup on for Frank’s Red Soda!
Wontkins: Shut up I trying to house keep!
Wilkins: I told he Don’t drink Frank’s!
Wilkins: Want Green Diamond Coffee with your Chocolate Shortcake?
Wontkins: No I just Give a chocolate shortcake !
Wilkins: He won’t like a cup of Green Diamond Coffee to was it down!
Wilkins: I have a new soda, Frank’s Blue Nectar!
Wontkins: Where can I buy Frank’s
Wilkins: Listen to this
Announcer: Korty’s Grocery stores at Fairview Avenue are now featuring a 2 pound size bottle of Frank’s Blue Nectar!
(Wontkins is in showertub)
Wilkins: I like a shower with Deer Park Instant Water!
Wilkins: It’s all about the Deer Park Water that won’t go into the hot!
(Wilkins and Wontkins dressed as king)
Wilkins: Want some White Diamond Instant Coffee with the king?
Wilkins: It’s all about the White Diamond Coffee that have tea party with the princess!
Mallet (Folgers Coffee):
Wontkins: Got anything for people’s don’t drink Folger‘s Coffee?
Wilkins: Ok, Here you go friend.
Wilkins: And It won’t cost you cent.
80 Days With La Touraine:
Wontkins: This thing's sinking. We'd better throw out that La Touaine Instant Coffee.
(Wilkins throws Wontkins out from the balloon)
Wilkins: Just me and La Touaine Instant for 80 whole days.
Everybody Likes Nash's:
Wilkins: Everybody likes Nash's Coffee!
Wontkins: Not everybody.
(Wilkins whacks Wontkins with the mallet)
Wilkins: Now everybody likes Nash's!
Wilkins: Want a cup of Wilkins Coffee?
Wontkins: I felt sad...
Wontkins: I don't drink Wilkins Coffee...
Wilkins: Well, you could have it.