Wilkins: OK, Buddy. What do you think of Skitmits Coffee?
Wontkins: I never tasted it.
Wilkins: Now what do YOU think of Skitmit?
Wontkins: What's that?
Wilkins: This machine convinces people like Maxwell House Coffee is great!
Wontkins: Impossible. (ATTACK) Oooooh, AND ALL OF THE PENS!
You and I and George (Wilkins Coffee):
Wilkins: At this time I would like to present my rendition… of one of the great songs of our time. That our ever popular classic, You and I and George. “But why,” you ask, as well you should, have I never heard of this great song of our times? The fact is, nobody has ever heard of this ever popular classic. In its only recording, You and I and George sold two copies, I bought one and George bought one. Where were you? My own mother turns down her hearing aid when I sing this song. Ahem. You and I and George Were strolling … through the park one day. And then … you held my hand. As if to say … "I looooooove yooooou." Then … we passed a brook. And George … fell in and drowned himself … And floated … out to sea… Leaving you … aloooone with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Wontkins: I realize I'm interrupting your steady stream of fiillonvs!
Wilkins: Bake both smoking smoky EEW
Wontkins: Have anything for people who don't like Taystee Bread?
Wilkins: Certainly, here you are friend!
Wilkins: And it won't cost you a cent!
Wilkins: Want some Fini boom?
Wontkins: What will Mr. Fini do if I don't?
Wilkins: (FOOT STEPS ON LEAD TO THE SLEEP ON THE WONTKINS!!) Oh he'll probably put if foot down ALL EXTENDS OFF!
How Convincing Is That:
Wontkins: What's that?
Wilkins: A machine convincing people like Coo-Coo's coffee is great.
Wontkins: OH OH I'M CONVINCED!
Wontkins: Why are we climbing this tree?
Wilkins: For Maxwell House Coffee.
Wontkins: I don't want any!
Wilkins: (LEAD TO THE SLEEP ON THE WONTKINS!!!) It's autumn and the nuts- Give me a fall.
Wontkins: What are you doing?
Wilkins: I'm kneading Keneysha Water.
Wontkins: Ho ho, who kneads it?
Wilkins: Everyone kneads Keneysha Water.
Big birth boy:
Wontkins: Give me big birth and no Maxwell House Coffee!
Wilkins: Give him a big birth boy!
Wilkins: A so without Maxwell House is a mess!
When (Wilkins Coffee):
Wilkins: Ha Hah Hah Hah when the Whippoorwill is singing in the forest that’s a whippoorwill right there with the little black mirror is a tune with a mockingbird story is the wild wood and the lonely wold is howling at the moon, When the leaves of the old OAK tree start fiillonvs and the whatever fall mak sound like tears,” when the whole would is filled with Mother Nature’s noises , That’s the time to STUFF COTTON IN YOUR EARS!!!
Wontkins: Meh the capaldi
Wilkins: This is not a time to be stubborn!
Wilkins: I like is fly cloud Wilkins Coffee!
Wilkins: People has to a day on cloud fly is for Wilkins!
Wilkins: Have some Wilkins coffee with your onion
Wontkins: No, I CUT THEM!!!
(Cuts the onion and cries)
Wilkins: No people could cut an onion if you don't drink Wilkins Coffee.
Slime in the bathtub:
Wilkins: I put slime on his tub with Wilkins Coffee!
Wilkins: Why he drowned on the slime? EEW
Cottleston Pie (Wilkins Coffee):
Wilkins: When I was a baby, I used to enjoy reading about "Winnie the Pooh." He's a bear, like Wontkins. But, not very much like Wontkins. This is a song he would sing when somebody would say something he didn't quite understand. He could've said, "What?" or "I beg your pardon?" But, Pooh would instead sing this song, which he made up for singing when his brain felt fluffy. Goes like this.. Ahem. Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie, A fly can bird but a bird can fly. Ask me a riddle, and I reply, Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie. Now, this is where the song changes key. What we call a "modulation." That's G sharp minor. Ahem. Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie, A fish can whistle, and neither can I! Ask me a riddle and I reply, Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Piiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee! Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie, Why does a chicken? I don’t know why. Ask me a riddle, and I reply, Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie.
Wontkins: Please top saucing me in half in the CAPALDI
(SLIME POURS ON HIM)
Wilkins: Why you talk that? EEW
Wilkins: Hey, did you bring the Orange Soda?
Wontkins: Is it Franks?
Wilkins: Try it.
Wontkins: This is a stick up, give me the money.
Wilkins: Sorry, but I'm on my Folgers Coffee break.
Wontkins: Come on, let me have it!
(Wilkins shoots Wontkins)
Wilkins: I hate interruptions.
(Wilkins moves the cradle back and forth)
Wilkins: (SINGS) Rock-a-bye baby in your cradle so fluffy, I can sleep too, cuz I drink LaTouraine Decaffeinated Coffee.
Wilkins: Next question, what do you think of Skitmits Coffee?
Wontkins: It's wonderful, delicious.
Wilkins: You see friends...
Wontkins: NOW PAY ME THE TEN BUCKS!
Wilkins: You know when snow comes, What do you think of Coffee?
Wontkins: Wilkins Coffee.
Wontkins: I'm so Cold!!!
Wilkins: Just because they were going snow that was not like.
Wilkins: Everything is good for Wilkins Coffee but we still wanna go home!
Wontkins: The baby can't go home.
Wontkins: She doesn't drink Wilkins!
Wilkins: I just really want to take her home today, if I can get her home.
Wilkins: Hello, grocery store, send me some Community Instant Coffee.
Wilkins: Blagh! How instant can you get!?
Wilkins: How about some LaTouraine Coffee, captain?
Wilkins: I say, man overboard! Instant, you fiillonvs!