Wilkins And Wontkins Wiki

Cannon (Skitmits Coffee)

  • Wilkins: OK, Buddy. What do you think of Skitmits Coffee?
  • Wontkins: I never tasted it.
  • BOOOM!
  • Wilkins: Now what do YOU think of Skitmit?

Attention (Red Diamond Coffee)

  • Wilkins: We're here to persuade people to drink more Red Diamond Coffee.
  • Wontkins: What's the club for?
  • (WHACK)
  • Wilkins: To get their attention.

Convincing Machine (Maxwell House Coffee)

  • Wontkins: What's that?
  • Wilkins: This machine convinces people like Maxwell House Coffee is great!
  • Wontkins: Impossible. (ATTACK) Oooooh, I'm Convinced!


  • Wilkins: At this time I would like to present my rendition…
  • Wontkins: I realize I'm interrupting your steady stream of Wilkins Coffee!
  • (BLOOM!)
  • Wilkins: He went on a low lessons to brew.

Mallet (Taystee Bread)

  • Wontkins: Have anything for people who don't like Taystee Bread?
  • Wilkins: Certainly, here you are friend!
  • BONK!
  • Wilkins: And it won't cost you a cent!

Foot Down (Fini Boom)

  • Wilkins: Want some Fini boom?
  • Wontkins: What will Mr. Fini do if I don't?
  • (Foot Stomps On Wontkins)
  • Wilkins: Oh he'll probably put if foot down.

Convincing Machine (Coo-Coo's Coffee)

  • Wontkins: What's that?
  • Wilkins: A machine convincing people like Coo-Coo's coffee is great.
  • Wontkins: Impossible. OH OH, I'M CONVINCED!

Climbing Tree (Maxwell House Coffee)

  • Wontkins: Why are we climbing this tree?
  • Wilkins: For Maxwell House Coffee.
  • Wontkins: I don't want any!
  • Wilkins: (Kicked Wontkins) It's autumn and the nuts are beggining to fall.

Drinking (Keneysha Water)

  • Wontkins: What are you doing?
  • Wilkins: I'm drinking Keneysha Water.
  • Wontkins: Ho ho, who drinks it?
  • (splosh!)
  • Wilkins: Everyone drinks Keneysha Water.

Big Birth Boy (Maxwell House Coffee)

  • Wontkins: Give me big birth and no Maxwell House Coffee!
  • Wilkins: Give him a big birth boy!
  • (boom)
  • Wilkins: A so without Maxwell House is a mess!

When (Wilkins Coffee)

  • Wilkins: When I drank Wilkins Coffee, it felt
  • Wontkins: Very Horrible!
  • (bang)
  • Wilkins: This is not a time to be interupt!

Flying Clouds

  • Wilkins: I like to flying clouds with Wilkins Coffee!
  • Wontkins: No!
  • (fall)
  • Wilkins: People has to a day on a cloud is for Wilkins!


  • Wilkins: Have some Wilkins coffee with your onion?
  • Wontkins: No, I CUT THEM!!!
  • (Cuts the onion and cries)
  • Wilkins: No people could cut an onion if you don't drink Wilkins Coffee.

Slime In The Bathtub

  • Wilkins: I put slime on his tub with Wilkins Coffee!
  • Wontkins: (DROWNS) Help! I'm starting to get sticky!!!
  • Wilkins: Of cource he end up in the slime with Wilkins!

Cottleston Pie

  • Wontkins: Give me the Cottleston Pie and no Wilkins Coffee!
  • Wilkins: Bring in the Pie Boys!
  • (Splat!)
  • Wilkins: A pie without Wilkins is in a mess!

Mountain Climbing (Franks Ginger Ale)

  • Wilkins: Say, did you bring the Ginger Ale?
  • Wontkins: Is it Franks?
  • Wilkins: Try it.
  • (fall)
  • Wontkins: Thaaaaaaaaanks!

Bank Robbery (Folgers Coffee)

  • Cow: This is a stick up, give me the money.
  • Duckling: Sorry, I'm on my Folgers Coffee break.
  • Cow: Come on, let me have it!
  • (Duckling shoots Cow)
  • Duckling: I hate interruptions.

Rock-A-Bye-Baby (LaTouraine Coffee)

  • (Wilkins moves the cradle back and forth)
  • Wilkins: (SINGS) Rock-a-bye baby in your cradle so fluffy, I can sleep too, cuz I drink LaTouraine Decaffeinated Coffee.
  • (Wontkins Appears)

Survey (Skitmits Coffee)

  • Wilkins: Next question, what do you think of Skitmits Coffee?
  • Wontkins: It's wonderful, delicious.
  • Wilkins: You see friends...
  • Wontkins: Now Pay Me The Ten Bucks!!!


  • Wilkins: You know when snow comes, What do you think of Coffee?
  • Wontkins: Wilkins Coffee.
  • Wilkins: What?
  • Wontkins: I'm so Cold!!!
  • Wilkins: Just because they were going snow that was not like.


  • Wilkins: Everything is good for Wilkins Coffee but we still wanna got a baby.
  • Wontkins: She can't go home.
  • Wilkins: Why?
  • Wontkins: She doesn't drink Wilkins!
  • (BOOM!)
  • Wilkins: I just really want to take her home today, if I can get her home.

How Instant (Community Coffee)

  • Wilkins: Hello grocery store, send me some Community Instant Coffee.
  • (SPRAY with water)
  • Wilkins: Ma'an! How instant can you get?

Man Overboard (LaTouraine Coffee)

  • Wilkins: How about some LaTouraine Coffee, captain?
  • Wontkins: No.
  • (Splash!)
  • Wilkins: I say man overboard. Help.