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$65:

Wilkins: Got 65 dollars for a cup of Community Coffee?

Wontkins: 65 dollars?!

Wilkins: You want me to go in there looking like a bum?

Convincing Machine:

Kermit: What's that?

Mack: This machine convinces people that Pepsi-Cola is great!

Kermit: Good idea!

(Mack pulls the lever and the machine's hammers hits Kermit)

Kermit: Ow ow ow oooh aaah!

House is not a Home:

Mack: Do you have any Savoury Succulent McGarry's Sausages in your house?

Kermit: No!

(Mack puts a bomb inside Kermit's house)

Mack: You know, a house is not a home without McGarry's Sausages!

(Kermit's house explodes)

Climbing Tree:

Wontkins: Why are we climbing this tree?

Wilkins: For Calso Water!

Wontkins: I don't want any.

(Wilkins kicks Wontkins off the tree)

Wilkins: It's autumn and the nuts are beginning to fall.

I Can't Swim:

Wontkins: Help! Help! I can't swim!

(Wontkins sinks)

Wilkins: Try some Community Coffee!

(Wilkins throws the bag of Community into the pool)

Wilkins: It could help him swim.

Fishing:

(Wilkins and Wontkins are in a boat fishing, the fishing rod that Wilkins is holding starts dangling)

Wilkins: I think I got one!

Wontkins: Pull it out! Pull it out!

(Wilkins pulls out a giant can of Wilkins Coffee from the ocean)

Wilkins: I-It's a whopper!

Wontkins: It's just a can of Wilkins Coffee.

Wilkins: I never liked fish!

Party:

Wilkins: Excuse me mam, do you drink Wilkins Coffee?

Female Muppet: Of course!

Wilkins: Go on ahead!

(Wontkins appears)

Wilkins: Do YOU drink Wilkins Coffee?

Wontkins: No, why?

(Wilkins pulls a lever that causes a giant boot to drop down and kick Wontkins away)

Wilkins: We only allow people who drink Wilkins into this party!

Water with Dinner:

Wilkins: Want some Ribena Blackcurrant with your dinner?

Wontkins: No, give me some water!

(Wilkins pulls out a water gun and soaks Wontkins in the face)

Wilkins: People like that need brainwashing!

Cannon (Montage):

(Wilkins shoots Wontkins with the cannon, and then points to the viewer)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Merita Bread?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Dugan's Bread?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of La Touraine Coffee?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Calso Water?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Community Coffee?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Martinson?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Red Diamond?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Frank's Orange Nectar?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Sohio Gas Station?

(Same as above)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Church's?

Symbolic:

Wilkins: Wilkins Coffee is like music to my ears!

Wontkins: What are those cymbals for?

(Wilkins Cymbal crashes wontkins with cymbals)

Wilkins: This is a very symbolic commercial!

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