Wilkins: If you don’t eat Magma bread You get on the pipe!
Wontkins: All that’s a lotta (falls)
Wilkins: Eating Magma Bread is a pipe dream!
Wilkins: Did you bring a glass of Frank’s Orange Nectar?
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the window, making him fall)
Wilkins: Why don't you drop down to the store for some!
(Wontkins hits the ground off-screen)
Little Red Riding Hood:
Wilkins: Grandma's Little Red Riding Hood with your Community Coffee!
Wontkins: I'm the bad wolf and I just ate your grandma!
Wilkins: Well have some Community to wash her down!
Wilkins: I really love my Sani Sausages!
Wontkins: You 'oughta see a psychiatrist!
Wilkins: I did, that's who told me about Sani,
Wilkins: I use to love my raincoat.
Wilkins: How about some delicious Sani Sausages?
Wontkins: Nah, I'll have Brand X.
(Wilkins has a brand with an X at the end of it, he burns Wontkins with it with a loud sizzle)
Wontkins: Oooh, That's smarts!
Brand X Yellow Diamond:
Wilkins: How about a delicious cup of Yellow Diamond Coffee?
Wontkins: No give me brand x!
Wontkins: Aaaah! That smarts!
Wilkins: You can’t get Brand X out of Yellow Diamond Coffee, and there is a great place to buy some!
(bonk sound with Target logo)
Announcer: Target has a new coffee on their coffee isle! (cut to Yellow Diamond Coffee) It’s brand new Yellow Diamond Coffee!
Did You Call?:
Kermit: I wouldn't admit this if I wasn't alone but, I really do like Claussen’s Bread!
Mack: Did you call?
Wilkins: Mr. Taystee says you gotta start eating Taystee Bread!
Wontkins: and What if I don't?
(Mr Taystee foot stomps Wontkins)
Wilkins: Oh, he'll probably put his foot down.
Best Coffee Is:
Wontkins: After much research, I found that the best coffee is-
(Wontkins is interrupted by a curtain with the Community Coffee logo on it)
Wilkins: He was probably gonna say Community, but I couldn't take the chance!
Want a Bite:
Wontkins: What you looking?
Wontkins: Grey Diamond Coffee want a bite!
Wontkins: Yeah (bite and screams) Aaaah he’s a sharp yellow salesman!
Blue Diamond best coffee is:
Wontkins: After much research, I found best coffee is—
(Stage with Blue diamond logo interrupt him)
Wilkins: He is probably gonna say Blue Diamond but I can’t take the chance!
Wilkins: If you like really good coffee, why don't you spend the extra money and get 2 bags of Community Coffee!
Wontkins: Why not?
Mack: Pepsi-Cola will really make a hit in your house!
Kermit: Are you sure it will make a hit?
(Mack hits Kermit with a mallet)
Positive Blue Diamond:
Wilkins: Blue Diamond Coffee will really make a hit in your house!
Wontkins: Are you sure?
Wilkins: You eat Pancakes at IHOP?
(Beautiful Day Monster eats Wontkins)
Wilkins: Thing seems to happen to people don’t eat at IHOP.
Conrad Love: Atchoo!
Southern Colonel: Want some new 7-UP soda?
Conrad Love: No! Ahitshooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
Southern Colonel: I told he don’t drink 7-UP!
Biplane (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):
Mack: Got your parachute?
Kermit: I forgot it!
Mack: How about Foster Farms Corn Dogs?
Kermit: I forgot them too!
(fall and upside down)
Mack: He’ll never forget this!
Wilkins: Do you drink Green Diamond Coffee?
(Splurge eats him)
Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don’t drink Green Diamond!
Tunnel of Love (A&W Restaurant)
Wilkins: After this can we go to A&W Restaurant?
Wontkins: No! (Splash)
Wilkins: I only go for a man who goes to A&W Restaurant!
Monster:Wilkins: Do you eat Dugan's Bread?
(A monster comes to eats Wontkins)
Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don't eat Dugan's.
Jack and the Beanstalk:
Wilkins: Fee feye foo fum, Jack! Come to Wendy’s and eat hamburgers!
Wontkins: No thanks mr. giant...
Wilkins: Eating at Wendy’s is Fee fi fo FUN!
Wilkins: Now that we are eating chicken at Popeye’s, a walrus wants to come!
Wontkins: So what
(walrus eats him)
Wilkins: If you don’t go to Popeye’s you get eaten by Walrus!
Window (Church’s Chicken):
Wontkins: Help me!
Wilkins: You bring Chicken from Church’s Chicken Delivery?
Wontkins: Na!!! (Fall)
Wilkins: Why don’t you drop down to the Church’s Chicken restaurant for some!
Wilkins: Do you eat chicken wings at WingStreet?
(Cookie Monster eats him.)
Wilkins: Things seems to happen to people don’t eat at WingStreet.
Shower Hot (Long John Silvers):
Wilkins: I like a shower with Seafood from Long John Silvers!
Wilkins: It’s all about the Long John Silvers seafood that won’t go into the hot!
Monster Burger King:
Mack: Do you eat hamburgers at Burger King?
(Splurge eats Kermit)
Mack: Things seem to happen to people who don’t eat at Burger King...
Monster (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):
Mack: Do you eat Foster farms corn dogs!
(Giant Wheel Stealer eats him)
Mack: Things seem to happen to people who don’t eat Foster Farm’s Corn Dogs.
Monster (Magma Bread version):
Wilkins: Do you eat Magma Bread?
(Cookie Monster with teeth eats him)
Wilkins: Things just seem to happen to people who don’t eat Magma Bread.
Cheep Cheep (Old Judge):
Southern Colonel: I have Old Judge Coffee and another kind of coffee!
Conrad Love: I want the Cheap Stuff!
Birds: Cheep Cheep Cheep!
Southern Colonel: Sorry but that other coffee is for the birds!
Cheep Cheep (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):
Mack: I have Foster Farms Corn Dogs and another kind of Corn Dogs!
Kermit: I want the cheap stuff!
(cheep cheep cheep)
Mack: Sorry but that other corn Dogs is for the birds!
Ship Christening (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):
Mack: I christen thee
Kermit: That corn dogs Is it Foster Farms?
Kermit: Thank You! (Sinking)
Easy as Chocolate Shortcake Corn Dogs:
Mack: Have you eaten Foster Farms Corn Dogs yet?
Kermit: Is it hard to do?
Mack: (splats the pie) No, It’s easy as Chocolate Shortcake!
Wontkins: GRR IM ANGRY
Wilkins: Reminder, Magma Bread wont fix an angry problem! Buy Magma!
Ship Christening (Yellow Diamond Coffee):
Wilkins: I christen thee!
Wontkins: That cup of coffee is it Yellow Diamond?
Wontkins: Thanks! (sinks)
Monster (Yellow Diamond):
Wilkins: Do you drink Yellow Diamond Coffee?
(Taminella Grinderfall eating Wontkins)
Wilkins: Things seems to happen to people who don’t drink Yellow Diamond.
Yellow Diamond Swimming Pool:
Wilkins: I just filled my whole swimming pool with Yellow Diamond Coffee!
Wontkins: Help I’m drowning!
Wilkins: I told he don’t drink Yellow Diamond
Snowing yellow diamond:
Wontkins: (BRRR) Give me a cup of coffee!
Wilkins: Yellow Diamond?
Wontkins: No any old coffee!
Wilkins: Step right this way!
Yellow Diamond makes best coffee:
Wontkins: Yellow Diamond makes good coffee!
Wontkins: Better coffee
Wontkins: Yellow Diamond make best coffee!!!
Wilkins: Instant Chase and Sanborn Coffee is music to my ears!
Wontkins: What are those cymbals for?
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the cymbals, a loud crash comes from the cymbals)
Wilkins: This is a very symbolic commercial!
Wilkins: Yellow Diamond Coffee is like music to my ears!
Wontkins: Where is the cymbals for!
Wilkins: This is symbolic commercials!
Wontkins: Where can I buy coffee?
Wilkins: Listen to this!
Booth announcer: Buy Yellow Diamond Coffee from the following stores: Target, Walmart, Kroger, Albertsons, Piggly Wiggly and Whole Foods Market! Nothing beats Yellow Diamond Coffee!
Two New Coffees:
Wilkins: I have two brand new two coffees that you’ve never seen before! Red Diamond Coffee and Blue Diamond Coffee!
Wilkins: Nothing beats Red Diamond and Blue Diamond!
Wilkins: I have a tub of Leo's Ice Cream, and a tub of another kind.
Wontkins: I want the cheap stuff!
(The cheap tub of ice cream's lid opens with 2 birds)
Birds: Cheep Cheep Cheep!
Wilkins: Sorry, but that other ice cream's for the birds!
Tunnel of Love:
Wilkins: After this, would you buy me a tub of Leo's Ice Cream?
(The boat goes into the tunnel, Wilkins throws Wontkins off the boat off-screen)
Wilkins: I only go for a man who eats Leo's.
Wilkins: I christen thee!
(Wilkins christens the ship with a bottle of Ribena)
Wontkins: That bottle of blackcurrant concentrate, is it Ribena?
(Wontkins and the ship sinks)
Ship Christening (Magma Bread):
Wilkins: I christen thee!
Wontkins: That loaf of bread, is it Magma?
Wontkins: Thanks! (Sink)
Wontkins: Okay William Tell, this better be good.
Wilkins: Do you drink Nash's Coffee?
(Wilkins shoots the bow and arrow)
Wilkins: We can still use the apple again!
Wontkins: What do you mean Wilkins Decaffeinated Coffee lets you sleep? I'm awake!
(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a mallet, Wontkins falls over and "sleeps")
Wilkins: Like I said, Wilkins Decaffeinated Coffee lets you sleep!
Cookie Monster: Oreo Cookies is like music to my ears!
Bert: What are the cymbals for?
Cookie Monster: This is a very symbolic commercial.