Pipe Dream:

Wilkins: If you don’t eat Magma bread You get on the pipe!

Wontkins: All that’s a lotta (falls)

Wilkins: Eating Magma Bread is a pipe dream!


Wontkins: Help!

Wilkins: Did you bring a glass of Frank’s Orange Nectar?

Wontkins: No!

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the window, making him fall)

Wilkins: Why don't you drop down to the store for some!

(Wontkins hits the ground off-screen)

Little Red Riding Hood:

Wilkins: Grandma's Little Red Riding Hood with your Community Coffee!

Wontkins: I'm the bad wolf and I just ate your grandma!

Wilkins: Well have some Community to wash her down!


Wilkins: I really love my Sani Sausages!

Wontkins: You 'oughta see a psychiatrist!

Wilkins: I did, that's who told me about Sani,

Wilkins: I use to love my raincoat.

Brand X:

Wilkins: How about some delicious Sani Sausages?

Wontkins: Nah, I'll have Brand X.

(Wilkins has a brand with an X at the end of it, he burns Wontkins with it with a loud sizzle)

Wontkins: Oooh, That's smarts!

Brand X Yellow Diamond:

Wilkins: How about a delicious cup of Yellow Diamond Coffee?

Wontkins: No give me brand x!

Wilkins: OK


Wontkins: Aaaah! That smarts!

Wilkins: You can’t get Brand X out of Yellow Diamond Coffee, and there is a great place to buy some!

(bonk sound with Target logo)

Announcer: Target has a new coffee on their coffee isle! (cut to Yellow Diamond Coffee) It’s brand new Yellow Diamond Coffee!

Did You Call?:

Kermit: I wouldn't admit this if I wasn't alone but, I really do like Claussen’s Bread!

Mack: Did you call?

(Kermit gasps)

Foot Down:

Wilkins: Mr. Taystee says you gotta start eating Taystee Bread!

Wontkins: and What if I don't?

(Mr Taystee foot stomps Wontkins)

Wilkins: Oh, he'll probably put his foot down.

Best Coffee Is:

Wontkins: After much research, I found that the best coffee is-

(Wontkins is interrupted by a curtain with the Community Coffee logo on it)

Wilkins: He was probably gonna say Community, but I couldn't take the chance!

Want a Bite:

Wontkins: What you looking?

Wontkins: Grey Diamond Coffee want a bite!

Wontkins: Yeah (bite and screams) Aaaah he’s a sharp yellow salesman!

Blue Diamond best coffee is:

Wontkins: After much research, I found best coffee is—

(Stage with Blue diamond logo interrupt him)

Wilkins: He is probably gonna say Blue Diamond but I can’t take the chance!

Why Not:

Wilkins: If you like really good coffee, why don't you spend the extra money and get 2 bags of Community Coffee!

Wontkins: Why not?


Mack: Pepsi-Cola will really make a hit in your house!

Kermit: Are you sure it will make a hit?

(Mack hits Kermit with a mallet)

Mack: Positive!

Positive Blue Diamond:

Wilkins: Blue Diamond Coffee will really make a hit in your house!

Wontkins: Are you sure?

(mallet hit)

Wilkins: Positive!

Monster (IHOP):

Wilkins: You eat Pancakes at IHOP?

Wontkins: No!

(Beautiful Day Monster eats Wontkins)

Wilkins: Thing seems to happen to people don’t eat at IHOP.

Sneeze (7-UP):

Conrad Love: Atchoo!

Southern Colonel: Want some new 7-UP soda?

Conrad Love: No! Ahitshooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Southern Colonel: I told he don’t drink 7-UP!

Biplane (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):

Mack: Got your parachute?

Kermit: I forgot it!

Mack: How about Foster Farms Corn Dogs?

Kermit: I forgot them too!

(fall and upside down)

Mack: He’ll never forget this!

Monster Green:

Wilkins: Do you drink Green Diamond Coffee?

Wontkins: No

(Splurge eats him)

Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don’t drink Green Diamond!

Tunnel of Love (A&W Restaurant)

Wilkins: After this can we go to A&W Restaurant?

Wontkins: No! (Splash)

Wilkins: I only go for a man who goes to A&W Restaurant!


Wilkins: Do you eat Dugan's Bread?
Screenshot 2019-12-24-18-07-24 kindlephoto-2358771

Wontkins: No!

(A monster comes to eats Wontkins)

Wilkins: Things seem to happen to people who don't eat Dugan's.

Jack and the Beanstalk:

Wilkins: Fee feye foo fum, Jack! Come to Wendy’s and eat hamburgers!

Wontkins: No thanks mr. giant...


Wilkins: Eating at Wendy’s is Fee fi fo FUN!


Wilkins: Now that we are eating chicken at Popeye’s, a walrus wants to come!

Wontkins: So what

(walrus eats him)

Wilkins: If you don’t go to Popeye’s you get eaten by Walrus!

Window (Church’s Chicken):

Wontkins: Help me!

Wilkins: You bring Chicken from Church’s Chicken Delivery?

Wontkins: Na!!! (Fall)

Wilkins: Why don’t you drop down to the Church’s Chicken restaurant for some!

Monster (WingStreet):

Wilkins: Do you eat chicken wings at WingStreet?

Wontkins: No

(Cookie Monster eats him.)

Wilkins: Things seems to happen to people don’t eat at WingStreet.

Shower Hot (Long John Silvers):

Wilkins: I like a shower with Seafood from Long John Silvers!

Wontkins: What?

Wilkins: It’s all about the Long John Silvers seafood that won’t go into the hot!

Monster Burger King:

Mack: Do you eat hamburgers at Burger King?

Kermit: Nope

(Splurge eats Kermit)

Mack: Things seem to happen to people who don’t eat at Burger King...

Monster (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):

Mack: Do you eat Foster farms corn dogs!

Kermit: No

(Giant Wheel Stealer eats him)

Mack: Things seem to happen to people who don’t eat Foster Farm’s Corn Dogs.

Monster (Magma Bread version):

Wilkins: Do you eat Magma Bread?

Wontkins: No!

(Cookie Monster with teeth eats him)

Wilkins: Things just seem to happen to people who don’t eat Magma Bread.

Cheep Cheep (Old Judge):

Southern Colonel: I have Old Judge Coffee and another kind of coffee!

Conrad Love: I want the Cheap Stuff!

Birds: Cheep Cheep Cheep!

Southern Colonel: Sorry but that other coffee is for the birds!

Cheep Cheep (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):

Mack: I have Foster Farms Corn Dogs and another kind of Corn Dogs!

Kermit: I want the cheap stuff!

(cheep cheep cheep)

Mack: Sorry but that other corn Dogs is for the birds!

Ship Christening (Foster Farms Corn Dogs):

Mack: I christen thee


Kermit: That corn dogs Is it Foster Farms?

Mack: Yes

Kermit: Thank You! (Sinking)

Easy as Chocolate Shortcake Corn Dogs:

Mack: Have you eaten Foster Farms Corn Dogs yet?

Kermit: Is it hard to do?

Mack: (splats the pie) No, It’s easy as Chocolate Shortcake!


Wontkins: GRR IM ANGRY

Wilkins: Reminder, Magma Bread wont fix an angry problem! Buy Magma!

Ship Christening (Yellow Diamond Coffee):

Wilkins: I christen thee!


Wontkins: That cup of coffee is it Yellow Diamond?

Wilkins: Yes!

Wontkins: Thanks! (sinks)

Monster (Yellow Diamond):

Wilkins: Do you drink Yellow Diamond Coffee?

Wontkins: No!

(Taminella Grinderfall eating Wontkins)

Wilkins: Things seems to happen to people who don’t drink Yellow Diamond.

Yellow Diamond Swimming Pool:

Wilkins: I just filled my whole swimming pool with Yellow Diamond Coffee!


Wontkins: Help I’m drowning!

Wilkins: I told he don’t drink Yellow Diamond

Snowing yellow diamond:

Wontkins: (BRRR) Give me a cup of coffee!

Wilkins: Yellow Diamond?

Wontkins: No any old coffee!

Wilkins: Step right this way!

(door close)

Yellow Diamond makes best coffee:

Wontkins: Yellow Diamond makes good coffee!


Wontkins: Better coffee

bonking again

Wontkins: Yellow Diamond make best coffee!!!

Wilkins: Congratulation!


Wilkins: Instant Chase and Sanborn Coffee is music to my ears!

Wontkins: What are those cymbals for?

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with the cymbals, a loud crash comes from the cymbals)

Wilkins: This is a very symbolic commercial!

Symbolic Yellow:

Wilkins: Yellow Diamond Coffee is like music to my ears!

Wontkins: Where is the cymbals for!

(boom symbolic)

Wilkins: This is symbolic commercials!

Wontkins: Where can I buy coffee?

Wilkins: Listen to this!

Booth announcer: Buy Yellow Diamond Coffee from the following stores: Target, Walmart, Kroger, Albertsons, Piggly Wiggly and Whole Foods Market! Nothing beats Yellow Diamond Coffee!

Two New Coffees:

Wilkins: I have two brand new two coffees that you’ve never seen before! Red Diamond Coffee and Blue Diamond Coffee!

Wontkins: What!?

Wilkins: Nothing beats Red Diamond and Blue Diamond!

Cheep Cheep:

Wilkins: I have a tub of Leo's Ice Cream, and a tub of another kind.

Wontkins: I want the cheap stuff!

(The cheap tub of ice cream's lid opens with 2 birds)

Birds: Cheep Cheep Cheep!

Wilkins: Sorry, but that other ice cream's for the birds!

Tunnel of Love:

Wilkins: After this, would you buy me a tub of Leo's Ice Cream?

Wontkins: No!

(The boat goes into the tunnel, Wilkins throws Wontkins off the boat off-screen)

Wilkins: I only go for a man who eats Leo's.

Ship Christening:

Wilkins: I christen thee!

(Wilkins christens the ship with a bottle of Ribena)

Wontkins: That bottle of blackcurrant concentrate, is it Ribena?

Wilkins: Yeah!

Wontkins: Thanks...

(Wontkins and the ship sinks)

Ship Christening (Magma Bread):

Wilkins: I christen thee!


Wontkins: That loaf of bread, is it Magma?

Wilkins: Mm-Hhm!

Wontkins: Thanks! (Sink)

William Tell:

Wontkins: Okay William Tell, this better be good.

Wilkins: Do you drink Nash's Coffee?

Wontkins: No!

(Wilkins shoots the bow and arrow)

Wilkins: We can still use the apple again!


Wontkins: What do you mean Wilkins Decaffeinated Coffee lets you sleep? I'm awake!

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a mallet, Wontkins falls over and "sleeps")

Wilkins: Like I said, Wilkins Decaffeinated Coffee lets you sleep!

Symbolic Oreo:

Cookie Monster: Oreo Cookies is like music to my ears!

Bert: What are the cymbals for?

(crashing cymbals)

Cookie Monster: This is a very symbolic commercial.

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