Wilkins: Okay buddy, what do you think of Kenyesha Water?

Wontkins: I never tasted it!

(Wilkins shoots the cannon, blasting Wontkins away, Wilkins then points to the audience while holding the bottle of Kenyesha Water that is sitting next to him)

Wilkins: Now what do you think of Kenyesha Water?

(Wilkins looks at the bottle)

Go Soak Your Head:

Wilkins: This is Instant Chase and Sanborn Coffee, the finest-

Wontkins: Oh, go soak your head!

(Wilkins lifts out the spoon from the pot of Maxwell House and dumps it on Wontkins, soaking him with the coffee)

Wilkins: Now you go soak your head!

Exploding Brand X:

Wilkins: Hey buddy, you want Community Coffee or Brand X?

Wontkins: What's so good about Community Coffee?

(The bag of Brand X coffee explodes)

Wilkins: Well, for one thing, it doesn't blow up!

Jingle in Bed:

Wilkins: (singing) More and more people are waking UP to La Touraine Coffee!

Wontkins: QUIET!

(Wilkins hits Wontkins with a bat, Wontkins falls back to sleep)

Wilkins: Looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed!

Brand X:

Wilkins: How about a glass of Ribena Blackcurrant?

Wontkins: Nah, give me Brand X!

(Wilkins has a brand with an X at the end of it, he burns Wontkins with a loud sizzle)

Wontkins: Oooh, that's smarts!


Mack: Stand by for blast off!

Kermit: Hey, what kind of fuel does that rocket use?

Mack: Pepsi-Cola!

Kermit: That's not good...

Mack: Blast off!

(Kermit blasts off like a rocket)

Nitro Cup:

Wontkins: What You're Drinking?

Wilkins: A Nitro Cup Of Red Diamond Coffee.

Wontkins: I Don't Like Coffee.

Wilkins: Then No Coffee For You.


Wilkins: Look out, here comes my trainload of Kraml Milk!

Wontkins: Why would you want a whole trainloa-

(Wontkins gets ran over by the train)

Wilkins: I like Kraml.

Reversed/April Fools:

Wontkins: Do you drink Wilkins Coffee?

Wilkins: No! Never!

(Wontkins shoots Wilkins)

Wontkins: Well, you better start drinking it.

Have a Hunch:

Wontkins: I have a hunch I'm being followed!

Wilkins: Have you started drinking Kraml Milk?

Wontkins: No!

(Wontkins gets grabbed by the shadow man following him)

Wilkins: I have a hunch he'd better start!

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